The end of a long road

Or maybe the beginning.

I burned a little midnight oir (or 4am oil) last night and finally finished writing the pattern for Taj Mahal. I'd finished the final knit a few weeks ago, and had been trying to motivate myself to take those last steps to finish off this project... what did it? The fact that I really, really need to clean the house.

So naturally I got right to work on pattern writing ;)

Learning to swim

I fell
from a cloudless blue sky
into the blue black sea

Gasping, flailing
finally treading, then swimming
to a refuge; a raft

Still tossed in the swells
soaked in the spray,
drifting, thirsty
clinging,
every rise and fall
a twist in the gut

Then washed
on the shore
that now is my home

The crash of the waves
wanting destruction
now sing me to sleep

Three

Three times around the sun

and today is just a day

like any day

and also not

You left as the sun rose

and I wasn't looking

when it set

It whispered across the sky

again today

in the everyday way

it does

east to west

and never back

your laugh still echoes

and warms my heart

and your son

(my sunshine)

glows brighter

every day

I did something yesterday

It was not a funny thing, but while I was doing it, I kept hearing Karl laughing. I miss that sound, and it was good to be surrounded by it, if only in my head.

Maybe, if all goes well, I'll tell you about it later.

Spend more, save more? Not really.

I used to tease Karl because he always tended to buy the suggested quantities of things that were on sale. If Schnuck's was running 10 for 10, guess how many items would be in our cart? He'd remind me that by buying more, we were saving more, and I'd reming him that we didn't need 10 jars of minced garlic.

That's really nothing to do with my shopping trip today, other than the fact that I did buy things because they were on sale, and I did have about 100 tiny heartbreaks browsing the racks in the kids department, just like I always do.

You'd think they wouldn't get me, what with them not saying Karl-esque things like "little professor" or "pure genius" or "Can I have a G&T in my sippy?"

But really anything with Daddy on it, well, gets me right in the gut. Even crap like this:

Eventually they outgrow the shirts, but I doubt I'll ever stop hating that I can't stand to buy him one.

Live more, Document less.

It's not that I mean to live by that philosophy, but lately I seem to be doing more, but taking fewer photos and writing fewer entries about all our fun. Maybe I'm finally sure I have nothing to prove to anybody, or perhaps I'm just getting lazy, but the pressing need to document every moment has been sliding.

Today we went to MOBOT, and had a lovely time. I didn't bring a camera, and the few shots I took on the phone really don't serve to do anything but say "we were there."

So I'll just say there are interesting things afoot that I may never tell you about, and we are having as much fun as we can while we have time to have it. I'll let you know if anything is earth shattering, but then, i suspect you'll notice if the earth shatters, and won't likely be running to my blog for details.

cheers.

Nearly Three Years

Here it is August again.

I haven't been sleeping well. Two nights ago I dreamed Karl kept coming back to life, only to die again. It was funeral after funeral, but we kept having them in different places - you know - to keep it fresh. Or something. We were maybe in south america for one, and the locals figured us for tourists and kept trying to sell us really cheap shoes.

Last night it was a road trip with El, and there was a roadside park in a little town, and a music festival starting. We pulled in and waited for things to start, and he fell asleep on a bench. I wondered a few feet away, then fell asleep against a tree. When I awoke there were people and cars everywhere, and I couldn't find El. Everybody just looked at me like I was crazy as I frantically searched for him. The police wouldn't answer the phone, and the information center for the fair, located in a funhouse type building on a strange hill, admitted they had found a blond headed kid, but since I had no proof he was mine, they were in no hurry to get him to me. "If the police said he was yours, sure, we'd hand him over..." Eventually they returned him, but not before some strange talk about cloning...

12 days till the anniversary, and my mind is clearly stressed. I haven't felt rested since returning from the trip up north, and I can't help but worry about the next two weeks.

Why yes, it has been a while!

We're doing well.

Summers are always hectic, and this one has been no different. We've traveled, we've worked, we've played - the usual, really. Facebook has made me lazy about the blog tho - it's so easy to post a quick pic or blurb that I keep tel

ling myself I'll expand on later, but later doesn't happen.

Highlights of the last 3 months -

Planting stuff in the yard
Alpaca Shearing Day

Big Storm felling tree by Mom's house

Visiting Matt and Vanessa

Steam Train visit by UP 844

Riding Miniature Train in Wildwood

Arkansas - Diamond Mine, Clinton Museum, Family Fun

Circus Flora

Four Square at Third Degree

Florida - Meeting Rory!

Falling down stairs (ROUS)

Finishing first glass trains

Wisconsin - H&D Farm & Uncle Phil's

Steam Train Ride - Lumberjack Express

Giving up on Garden

Finishing Taj Mahal

Block Party

Other TBA stuff...

So it isn't for lack of material that I haven't written, but more a lack of time.

I have learned something tho: