Two Steps Back

I can see myself
clearly
from two steps back

from two days
or weeks

years
or heartbeats

I can see me moving

forward
broken and strong
joyful tearful

slipping
gripping
grasping
gasping

I can see what will
from what was
and won’t be

hopeful

doubtful

standing

falling

wanting to fall
wanting to hope

I can see me here
at the intersection

millions of ifs
only one if that stuck

and two steps up

one step up

every step
up

I tell myself
I’ll not look back

again