I order stuff from Amazon all the time. Half of what we own is from Amazon.com. The other half is from Target. If you can't get it in either of those places, I probably don't want it. Ok, unless it's over $1,000, but who ever has that to spend?
Anyway, my most recent order, some kitchen stuff for Elliot's new kitchen(s) and a new camera for me, didn't show up on time. I checked the online tracking, and it said FedEx delivered it Friday. Well, FedEx has delivered packages to me that weren't mine, and so it only makes sense that they would deliver mine somewhere else, but a call to Amazon fixed it all, I thought.
They processed the claim as a "stolen" order. One of the items I had ordered was from a 3rd party seller, so they had to refund it, then have me order it again. Well, after a 15 minute phone call with a lovely young woman in India, it seemed I'd have my new camera sometime next week.
So I went online and re-ordered the cooking set. I sat down to knit. My doorbell rang.
Yes, it was my neighbor. It turns out it was my racist neighbor, who informed me that he got our package by mistake because of that (whispering) New Black Mailman. I'm not sure what the new Black Mailman was doing with my FedEx package, or if it's reasonable to assume that he would have taken it from my porch and put it on somebody else's, but if my neighbor wants to blame him then fine. His kids clearly opened a package not addressed to them because our mailman is black. Right.
That's why it took him a day and a half to bring it over to me, too.
So I called Amazon back, and explained that if I'd had a white mailman, this would have never happened, but it turns out the package was delivered to the wrong house, but now I had it and all was good. Could they please cancel the order for the cooking set.
Turns out they can't. They must have a black mailman too, because they can't cancel an order placed an hour ago and save everybody the trouble of sending a box hundreds of miles only to send it back.
I was honest about the box, and didn't let them send me a new camera. I might not be honest about the return, because they will make me pay shipping, and I'm not going to do it. I may be giving somebody a "Gift" of a cooking playset, so they can return it for something that I really do want.
Do they sell open minded, non racist neighbors on Amazon?
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I read about a mixed woman who was looking for housing being told that the area is good, and that most of the black neighbors had moved out. She asked the landlord if most of the white racists had moved out as well. Seriously, I wish I had the saintly tolerance to talk to these people with love and understanding, my angelic counterpart would say something like "oh, did you think the new mailman had bad intentions? why, did you think his race has something to do with it? I have not seen that in my experiences" as a gentle nudge towards a world where such things do not get said, but my real self usually does something v productive, like start yelling. super persuasive. right. as for amazon, I am not a fan, but I keep getting gift certificates.. :)
Oh my gosh, Jes, this post was funny. And your neighbors are horrid.
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